As some of you may know, April is Autism Awareness Month. I have been posting this over and over again in my status. My wife said if I really want to raise awareness I should add some facts or change it up a bit, so I’ve decided to talk about what having a son with Autism is like.

From the time he was a baby rocking in his carrier all by himself, we knew he was different, the boy loved to rock, in his baby swing, in his crib, in his carrier, he was rocking. As a toddler he played differently, he would line up his toys; he would do his shape sorter, in the same order over and over. He couldn’t sort the shapes out of order. Now as a parent you don’t want your child to be different or have anything wrong, so sometimes you hope if you ignore it it will go away, it doesn’t. As he got older, his behaviors seemed to become more peculiar and it was also very obvious the boy was smart, too smart. It may seem funny to worry that your child is too smart, but when you know, he knows things he shouldn’t or can do things he should be able to do, part of you worries. So we started asking questions at check ups, and doing research on our own. everything seemed to point to Autism Spectrum Disorder, specifically Asperger Syndrome. The Pediatricians told us to what and see we knew better. These same Pediatricians also told us he had Hydrocephalus when he was a baby, and wanted to put a stint in his head. Turns out he just had a big head, which by the way can be an early sign of Autism. At 4yrs old we needed to know for sure before he started Kindergarten. We got the referral and had him tested. After meeting with a Therapist and a Psychologist, we were told our son had Asperger Syndrome, a form of Autism. We where not surprised, so there was no shock, or grief. It was actually comforting in a strange way, to finally have an explanation for the way our son is. Now when he “melts down” in Wal-Mart because he’s over stimulated, and people are staring shaking there heads, I can look at them and say “He’s Autistic” and they will understand and not judge. Trust me this makes a difference, before the diagnosis, he would “melt down” in the sore, people stare at you, label you a bad parent, and your kid a brat, and walk away, and you start to believe it. My own relatives would do this to us at family gatherings. so as I was saying, a diagnosis can be a relief. Now I would love for him to be “normal” and not have anything wrong at all, but as his therapist has told us many times, if your child is going to have something wrong, this is what you want them to have. As a person with Aspergers, he joins the likes of Mozart, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, and Carl Sagan, not a bad crowd. Now obviously not all those people where actually diagnosed with Aspergers, but based on current diagnostic criteria, they are thought to have had it. Now it’s not all unicorns and rainbows, there is an extreme down side. Our son is weird, no other way to put it. He rocks back and forth when he sits, stands, talks, listens to music, or plays video games. He kinda stands out in a crowd with this rocking behavior. He is a VERY picky eater, and it changes constantly, he likes it then he doesn’t, and that’s in the same meal. He also takes everything literally, if I tell him to throw his plate in the sink, he will throw it. If I tell him his room is a mess, I am stating a fact, he doesn’t get that I want him to clean it. He has many social problems, like not understanding social hierarchy; he sees himself and everyone else as equal. In theory this sounds great except, as parents, we need to exert our authority, and his teachers need to instruct him. He has asked his teachers why they just get to sit there while he has to do all the work, now this sounds cute and funny, but that is how he sees things, we are all equal. Once a teacher asked him to throw away something, and he said ” Say please”, of course the teacher thought he was being a smart mouth, but again, treat him the way you want to be treated, we are all equal. He gets bored in school easily, he is usually done with his math first and has to “just sit there” as he puts it. By the same token, his hand writing is poor at best, so he almost never finishes his written work in school. He loves numbers, and counting and telling time, I nick named him Big Ben because he is always announcing what time it is. He can read an analog clock with 100% accuracy, and has been since he was 4. His counting has no limit, I assume to infinity, he knows his money very well. I’m sure there are parents with ” normal” kids who can do this, they read to them in the womb bought the Baby Einstein DVD’s, and played classical music. We didn’t do these things, he just naturally gets numbers. On the down side, he hates reading, he use to love to read words, till the school made him sound things out, he use to just look at a word and “decode” it so to speak. He wasn’t sounding it out, he just figured it out. After 2 yrs of school, he has regressed in his reading because he is using the sound it out method, and he doesn’t really get it, so he gives up.

As for his social skills, it’s hit or miss. He seems to make friends just find except EVERYONE is his best friend. But when we are in public, he will share intimate details of our lives with complete strangers, completely unprompted. Sometimes he comes across as rude I will give 2 examples. We where in Wal-Mart and as we where walking down the aisle, he said to his sister ” don’t forget we need bologna”, now a little old man and his wife where walking down the aisle the other way, the little old man stopped and said to him ” Oh, you can’t forget the bologna, I always have to have bologna in my house”. My son looked at him and said ” I wasn’t talking to you” and walked away. He wasn’t being rude, he was stating fact. Another time we where at the check out in Lowes, the elderly man behind the register told my son he was going to put him to work behind the register because he had so much energy. My son looked at him and said ” If you touch me I will punch you’. Again sounds rude, but he knows strangers don’t touch, but he doesn’t know that the man was kidding. He doesn’t get it.

As for the future, there is hope he will outgrow it. He will always have Autism, but some kids learn to integrate themselves as they get older. I personally like his little quirks, but I also know that society only accepts normal, and I don’t want him to feel an outcast. Only time will tell, either way I love him, probably more than my other kids. I know that sounds unfair but it’s honest. He is so special and needs so much attention and patients we can’t help feeling more strongly about him.

I hope my little diatribe helps give some insight into the world of Autism. It affects so many people and affects us all differently. I welcome your comments.

Allen